A New Journey

If you haven’t noticed,  I have not posted in quite some time.  I have many blogs started, but not finished.  I love to write, but when I’ve attempted to write lately, I’ve felt very stuck.  Nothing would flow.  I could not get the thoughts and feelings from my head and heart to translate properly onto paper.  So I’ve done a whole lot of starting and stopping over the past several months.  I didn’t want to share anything that wasn’t authentic.

In the quiet moments of my yoga practice, the answer to why I couldn’t write was answered.  I couldn’t write because I haven’t been being honest about who I am and where I want to be.  It’s just not enough anymore to teach the occasional yoga workshop, or blog intermittently about the life-changing effects yoga has had on my life and the life of those around me.  It’s not enough to be a part-part time yoga teacher. I want more.  I want WAY more!  I feel it deep down in my depths of my soul.

During my family’s annual New Year’s Eve puja and intention setting ceremony this year, the quality that I wanted to get rid of that was not serving me was procrastination.  I realized that I could continue to come up with every excuse to avoid creating my own yoga business, but that would be ignoring the voice inside me begging me to more forward.  As I let go of procrastination, I set my intention for the year 2013.  On my intention card, I wrote the following words:

“I am happy and grateful now that I have developed a yoga home study program and am able to help  everyday women live more peaceful, more purpose-filled lives through the practice of yoga, meditation, and mindful living.  I am happy and grateful that I am being compensated for my yoga teaching and writing.”

Amazingly, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”  Opportunities began showing up that  will allow me to network with amazingly strong, women entrepreneurs to help guide me along this journey of making my yoga dream business a reality.  Words are not big enough to describe my excitement and fear as I move into this very uncomfortable space.  But I know enough to know that in that space of discomfort lies our biggest opportunities for growth.

I hope you will join me on this new journey as I begin to build my dream business.  I look forward to sharing my inner thoughts and feelings along the way  in hopes that it connects with you in some small (or big!) way.

Namaste,

Lisa “The Yogini Next Door”

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And then the walls came crashing down…

My last post was at the height of my euphoria following a most powerful healing retreat.  Well, as they say, what goes up, must come down. Alright, maybe not always, but in this case I crashed back down hard.   Holy shit, did I crash.

I came back from the retreat fired up ready to move forward toward my goal of reaching more people through my yoga teaching and coaching.  I spent the week reading, writing, planning, meditating, and training.  I’ve been dreaming of quitting my job and committing myself fully to my life’s passion of yoga for awhile now.  But this time felt different.  I felt so certain that I was going to make a living teaching this yogic lifestyle to others through workshops, writing, speaking, and coaching that I could literally feel it in my soul;  I could see myself living the life I’ve always wanted to live.

I guess things got a little too real for my ego.  ‘Cuz she said,  “Oh, no ya don’t sister!”  in a big way!  Stinkin’ thinkin’ started to creep in Saturday.  My ego was saying, “Are you kidding!  Who are you to think you can coach others on how to live more peaceful, purpose-filled lives!?” and “Oh, and don’t forget you only have 2 people signed up for your next yoga workshop!” and my personal fave “You aren’t even that good of a yoga teacher!”.

In response, I answered as compassionately as I possibly could, “Not now, ego, I have work to do!”  I got out my gratitude journal, wrote down 10 things I was grateful for in my life and I went to bed for the night.

Egos are insidious, powerful parts of us, though.  I woke up Sunday morning sicker than I have been in years with a kick your ass to the curb kind of migraine.  Well played ego,well played!

Thankfully, I have a wonderful acupuncture healer friend who I have on speed dial.  The next day, I had an acupuncture treatment to relieve the pain.  However, as I was laying there with my needles in, I spoke directly to my ego to assure her that I would take better care of her throughout this journey.  I realized that instead of allowing and trusting in the process, I began to force the change.  I promised myself to take a much more gentle, loving approach to the journey.

Gay Hendrick’s referred to this experience in his book, The Big Leap, as an “upper limit problem”.

The gorgeous and brilliant Marie Forleo, life coach extraordinaire, elaborated on the upper limit theory. Here’s the basic idea: “Each of has an internal thermometer for how much success, wealth, happiness, love and intimacy we’ll let ourselves experience. That’s our upper limit setting. Kind of like our success comfort zone.

When we exceed our internal thermostat setting, and life gets super duper OMG good (we have an influx of money, get healthy, find a great relationship) — we unconsciously do things to sabotage ourselves, so we can drop back to the old, familiar place where we feel in control.

Upper limit problems can manifest like this: You’ve just had a huge win, and then you get in an accident, break a limb, fry your computer, over-drink, over-eat, over-spend, start a fight with your significant other, get really sick, etc. You know, fun self-sabotaging stuff like that.”

So why am I telling you all of this and why should you care?

Because if you are ready to make huge changes in your life, you will come up against your upper limits.  And when you do, you may want to back away from the pain and retreat back to your comfort zone, and ditch your dreams. Don’t!  Feel the discomfort, feel the pain.  Acknowledge the discomfort and pain, be gentle with yourself, and move through it.  Find a trusted healer, coach, or holistic practitioner to help you through it if necessary.

Just remember, the world needs us to dream big and stop playing small.  As Susan Jeffers tells us, “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

With gratitude,

Namaste,

Lisa